In your bedroom, there is a well arranged bed where you and your spouse rest on every night. On this bed, holy matrimonial acts are carried out. Whenever this bed is tampered with; the couple yell……” that’s my matrimonial bed, respect it. In other words, my matrimonial bed is sanctified, reverence it!

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But where is matrimonial bed located in holy matrimony (Holy Marriage)?

Sometimes, we often here a spouse say “you slept with her on our matrimonial bed, I will divorce you”.  Meaning, you have desecrated our bed, this sin cannot be forgiven.

Ladies and gentlemen of this ‘Holy Institution’, called “Marriage”, The matrimonial bed has no location. It is called ‘Holy Matrimony’, the bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4), it is an unseen bed which follows you wherever you go.Anytime you commit adultery on that hotel bed, on your friend’s bed, etc, you have defiled the sacredness of your marriage bed* the physical and spiritual costs are quite high. Is the defilement of the consecrated marital bed worth the high cost you will pay?

One of the major causes of desecrating the sanctity of marital bed is sexual pressure.


The marriage bed is sacred, the only place where sex is allowed by God. A Couple is only allowed to carry out this act with his/her spouse. Sometimes, there are conditions that may make it ‘almost impossible’ for a couple to engage in sex.Some of these conditions may include: illness, birth of a new born baby, erectile failure or dysfunction, absent of a spouse, etc.

Illness** this goes to show us that our bodies may sometime fail; we may not always be strong or healthy. This is the time when you are expected to stand by your spouse, keep the vow you made before God and all the witnesses during your wedding ceremony. When your body begin to demand for sex, which it surely will…. Bring that body under your subjection, by speaking the word   of God to him or her. Yahweh, The Most High God, gave us control over our flesh. When we exercise this authority over our bodies, the body obeys.

Birth of a new Born Baby** the foetus gives his would-be father 9 months before arrival to prepare. When dads prepare for the arrival of the new born baby, they should also prepare their bodies to endure until the wife’s body is ready for conjugal relationship. Serna Gordon of Health Day reporter wrote “Couples are usually told to wait six weeks after the birth of a baby before having sex again. But new research highlights that there’s not a specific “right” time for everyone. Each woman’s postpartum experience is different, researchers explained. Someone who had a very difficult birth and needed stitches may think six weeks is way too soon. But a woman who had an uneventful delivery may feel amorous again in just a couple of weeks”. A father who disciplines his body will be able to wait for his wife’s body to heal.

Erectile Dysfunction: ‘ It is inability to get and keep an erection firm enough for sex. It may occur from time to time (which shouldn’t be something to worry about). Erectile dysfunction only becomes a cause for concern when it is regular. In which case the couple may have to seek medical health.

The sanctity of marriage enables both parents and children to connect well. The family become a place where healthy relationship is formed. The children grow well, imbibing the exemplary lifestyle of their parent. There is love, trust, unity and a strong family bond.

A defiled marriage attracts negative lifestyle to the family including Incest’, which is very unhealthy. Incest used to be a taboo in years past, but today it is gradually invading families; incest between father and daughter, mother and sons, siblings, etc, is unhealthy in a family relationship.

Our marriages will remain sanctified when we consciously work and pray towards it. If we choose to be careless and expect the marriage to work itself, the bed maybe defiled.

By Vera Aigbonoga..