Relationship is expensive, be it between father and children, mother and children, good friends, a boy and a girl, traditional family, brother and sister etc. Somehow somewhere, money will be required to keep it going. Apart from money, time, love, loyalty, good character are among the necessary ingredients needed to maintain a good relationship.
These days, most young people focus mainly on; good looks, money and fame, which are good ingredients but if left alone, cannot really sustain relationships especially during difficult times.
Ace Comedian Alibaba’s opinion is that those who marry because of good sex, will eventually get disappointed when they find out that good sex alone does not pay bills. He believes those whose only contribution in a relationship is sex soon find out, to their chagrin, that they really have no stake in such relationships at all, especially when they are confronted with a person who has multiple of sex, brain and good character to offer. They get beaten out of the marital game because, like beauty, even sex fade.
“People who have only sex to offer are the ones who get jealous, suspicious and quarrelsome. You know why? Because they know that you might go out one day and find someone who has more than sex to offer. So where does that leave them? They begin to put their spouse on the defensive. Go take a critical look at most of those relationships where the guy or babe has only one thing to offer, they will keep talking of security. They always want to be reassured; “Tell me you love me, promise you will not leave me, are you sure you are not playing with me? Am I the only one in your life? Do you really love me? Are you tired of this relationship? Do you still love me? …. blah blah blah!”
“When all you have is a hammer everything is a nail. That is what sums up these kind of people. Which explains why they get so angry when you are away from them for too long. Their only stake in the relationship needs to be activated regularly in order for them to remain relevant in the scheme of things and in their spouses lives, which also explains why many who marry because the sex is good, find out later that good sex doesn’t pay bills.” “Neither does it cook, run the home, guarantee respect.
Make your spouse a person you can rub minds with and not just skin. You see you may not know it, but I will tell you; you may be extremely beautiful, which is good, but like sex, if that beauty is all there is to you in the relationship, the day that beauty is discounted by someone else who has brain and beauty, body and cooking skills, with a good dose of home management, (last last na modeling agency go need you.) So if you are a guy, and all you have in your value proposition brief case is muscles( Hiaaaaam). No common sense, nothing else. After a while, the bargaining value sex in the relationships could diminish. When that happens, what will be your new bargaining chip?”
“Same goes for cash. I know a top society lady who married a big time Lagos big boy, when she knew he was in bad times, she vamoosed! went to have kids for another man. How could she? She could, and she did. Some people too, if they marry you because of your Dad’s political office, when the term of office is running out, they run out too.”
So which way forward guys? I belief just as you get the apps on your phone, your academic qualifications, skills etc updated, you should also get yourself constantly updated if your marriage and relationships are to be successful. Sustaining a relationship is hard work, let’s give it a try. All marriages must not end in divorce, our parents had successful marriages we too can do it.